Can you picture an instance when you have forgiven someone for something?
It could have been a small thing, or something bigger that was more hurtful.
Sometimes, it is hard to find forgiveness within yourself to give someone.
Do you seek forgiveness when you were the one that messed up?
Forgiveness is an easy thing to give, in theory.
However, when you are the one that was hurt, it may not come as easy.
Ask anyone you meet if they have ever been hurt by another.
You will hear a resounding YES!
Now, ask how they handled the hurt and you will hear many different stories about resentment, revenge, internalizing, depression, anger, and sadness; but few stories about forgiveness.
Why would anyone hold onto pain if they don’t have to?
What is it in our nature to harbor ill feelings or hold onto past pain?
Studies show that holding onto emotional pain transpires into physical illness.
Disease has been linked to our mental well-being.
If we have the power to heal ourselves, where do we start?
Some call it letting to; others call it forgiving.
Not only forgiving others, but forgiving ourselves.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean denying the other person’s responsibility for hurting you.
Forgiving someone isn’t excusing the act.
Forgiveness is a practice for compassion, empathy, kindness, and peace.
Holding pain inside is a breeding ground for negative feelings.
Negative feelings, in turn, come out through anger, resentment, and the desire to seek vengeance.
Negative feelings also keep us from enjoying the present; turning into depression and anxiety, ultimately sabotaging those relationships we hold so dear.
Practicing forgiveness is a commitment to change.
Moving away from a victim role and taking a more proactive and positive stance on your well-being will move you toward a more peaceful and enjoyable life.
Sometimes an act seems unforgivable.
Place yourself in their shoes.
Consider how you would have reacted or behaved if it were you.
Accept that we are all human and have occasional imperfections.
With any decision to make a change, journaling is an easy way to document and reflect on your feelings, which will help move you toward your goal.
Forgiveness is within you.
There is no guarantee it will change the offender or future acts.
Therefore, it is important for you to know that forgiving someone may not give you the immediate outcome you desire.
This is an internal practice that will ultimately change your external world but is a personal practice rather than a means to change someone else.
The next time you seek forgiveness or someone else seeks yours, remember to put yourself in their shoes.
It is better to forgive and move on, than to harbor those hurtful feelings.
The power lies with you.
You cannot change other people, but you can spark the change within yourself.
If you are ready to forgive and rid yourself of that pain you have been holding in, click below to schedule your free call: https://www.tinammeitl.com/apply/
It’s Me, Tina
Photo by Gianandrea Villa on Unsplash